Get a Grip on your Fear?

Go swimming with a mule!
Many people get the idea of exposing themselves to wild horses as a way to overcome their fear of horses. We commend them for their willingness to face their fears head-on, but we cannot allow them to be part of our horse gentling program. The simple fact is that fear is contagious. If a person is afraid of the horse, the horse will be afraid of people. Our horses are just trying to figure out if they can trust the humans and the last thing they need is a fearful one.

For some reason, when fearful people get this information, it doesn't seem to phase them. They usually don't care about what it is going to do to the horses, because they are so preoccupied with their own miserable feelings. So in that case, we decided to try to capitalize on it.

So, from time to time we may offer an extreme desensitization program that involves learning to relax in the presence of extreme horses. It involves sitting in a lawn chair in a corral for 6 hours a day reading horsey novels and sleeping in the barn. We would have to charge for this. Probably $300/day but that would include meals and a blanket suitable for the barn. We would probably start you out with some domestic horses, then put you in the corral and let a herd of wild ones run around you, then, if you were extremely brave, we would put you in with the mules. Most scared humans would never get that far. NOT THE MULES!!! These people are going to find a reason to bail out, so we would need our customers to pay in advance. 3 days, $900 bucks. Let us know if you have the money. We need it.

For an extra $250 we can put oats on your back while you lay face down in the lawn chair and let a mustang stallion nibble them off. While you relax! Call now to book your extreme systematic desensitization experience!!! Operators are standing by.